I’m gunna break down my whole life in this blog post…. Sorry if it bores you.
I was born to a couple hot mess people. I love my parents dearly, but they had no reason to be together…. My dad was lonely, and my mom was always trying to fill a void. My dad was a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, my mom was not so recovered; just acted like it. My mom decided it would be a super fantastic idea to use substances while pregnant with my twin and I, so we had a stroke in her womb. Yes, that is very possible.
My childhood went exactly as a stereotype would predict. My mom was never there for me, and there were lots of guys in and out of our lives. One particularly molested me and my baby sister. There’s lots of stories about things that happened then, but I don’t have to time to write a book. (my dad has always been pretty solid, and sober. So not much happened with him when i was a kiddo)
When I was 9, my mom died. No clue what happened. So we went to live with out dad. (my big sisters with their dad, and my baby sister with hers*until she got taken away from him*) Things went really well for a year, then dad had heart surgery. He went into a coma for several months. When he finally recovered, he went home and I took care of him and my twin. After a few years of that, my dad got sick and was in a facility for 6 months. That’s when my adopted mom(aka THE BEST PERSON EVER) comes into play. She took us in and the rest was history. Dad was overdosed twice, the first time he forgot who I was, but he remembered I was important to him. The second time killed him.
When dad died, I spiraled. I wanted to die and I wanted to feel pain. So, I started inflicting pain on myself*totally not posting what it was because I have no clue what someone’s triggers are* I started failing school and I was slowly, but steadily losing all of my friends.
I dated realllllly not good guys. And made some not good choices. Then I met Ron (my now ex-husband) He was BAE before I knew his name. We fell in love so fast, and so deep it was insane. We were engaged after 3 months and married after a year and a half. He was my very best friend. My biggest supporter. We did everything together. He was everything I ever prayed for. At first being married was like clockwork. It came easy. Then I fell into a bad depression over losing my twin, and Ron found comfort in another girl(girl. not woman. my word choice is generally key). From December until mid spring, he was catching feelings for her, and treating me worse and worse. It started by him not being as affectionate, then he got mean, then he got violent. Then before I knew it he was drinking every night til the wee hours of the morning. He finally left one day and my life hasn’t been the same since.
I guess I’m going to stop tying out my story now, because that will come up in more blogs. There’s this line in “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” So this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad. And I’m still trying to figure out how that could be
be blessed, ya’ll ❤