I’m not even going to lie… driving with the windows down, blasting some good pop-punk is my escape lately.. Maybe even more than falling to my knees. The nights are long, and the days go slow. I just find companionship in the lyrics. I think I’m mad. I’m mad another girl took my husband. I’m mad I gave him my virginity. I’m mad he left. I’m mad I loved him. So the angsty lyrics help me know I’m not the only angry person. But I have even felt like my prayers aren’t being answered, like maybe I’m not worth the effort from God *this is the enemies favorite tactic with me*

There is times in life where everything is freaking peachy and Ponyboy has stayed golden… Then there is times like the last year of my life. Where happy means you were just able to get out of bed and shower that day. And you can listen to Tyler Carter without crying. And I’m here to tell you if you need to scream Brand New at the top of your lungs, then do it! If you need to listen to The Story
So Far and just tweet every relevant lyric, well at least you’re alive to tweet those lyrics.

But. (There is always a but, that’s another life lesson.) Don’t forget that you woke up for a reason, even if you woke up sad. God isn’t done with you. It’s hard as heck. Some days, I’m like “God you may not be done with me, but I’m super done with life” Those are the days I remember I NEED to fall to my knees. I NEED to ask for guidance. I NEED to be humbled. And remember, when you’re tired and you need rest GOD gives you peace… not Neck Deep(although they may come close 😉 )

Life is a mess, and I’ve decided it’s time to allow myself to feel, but I’m not staying in this mess, I’m moving on to my masterpiece.

I am writing this and praying for my people, the people chasing other people, the non-sleeping people, the crying out for love people, the hurting people, the angry people; you’re not alone. And to quote my most favorite TWLOHA “your story is important” and you best believe every single part of it is important, not just the good stuff.

be blessed ❤

PS I’m actually writing from conclusions I’ve been able to come to. This is all a part of my processing.