I’m pretty honest, I’m basically an open book. I like to be open with my struggles because the devil loves to play with them in the dark. There’s a few things I don’t broadcast, but generally, I’m pretty open. One thing that I’ve just recently become open about is my fear. To be honest, I didn’t even know I was so scared until a few months ago. But here I am, almost drowning in fear. Suffocating not only my dreams, but my faith too. It’s a scary thing, and it is one of the enemies best tactics in my life. But I’m taking a stand. I am God’s child, and He thinks highly of me, and is always faithful.
Google tells me fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous. Guys, that is how I think of my future. That it’s dangerous. That it is full of brokenness and crushed dreams. (NOT speaking this into existence, just letting ya know how it is) I was gifted the book “Crashing the Chatterbox” by Pastor Steven Furtick recently. It is a really great book. A lot of my revelations are based on prayers after reading this book. I kinda wish I could take credit for the revelations, because they are genius. But I cannot. *SHOUT OUT TO PASTOR STEVEN* Anyways, if you’re still reading, I’m assuming you have some fears yourself? Listen, if the worst “what if” happens, it will probably suck really bad, I know from experience, but God has made many promises to get us through those “what if times”. The book, basically, says “what if..” “it would…” “God will..”.
All of my scariest “what if” moments have come to pass. Losing my parents, losing my husband, losing my twin, a HUGE, life altering car accident, my brother dying, I watched my dream of having a child slide out from under me(just for this season though)… The list goes on and on. But through all of that, I made it. and the “what if’s” turned into reality, and that turned into a crappy situation. But God continually has gotten my through them all. In the book, he relates this to Elijah, and it made perfect sense. Elijah was tired of fighting. After he just owned Jezebel’s false God and prophets, he ran and cried out to God to take his life. (you can read this for yourself around 1 Kings 19). That didn’t make any sense to me… He has been kicking butt and taking names for quite some time now. What if Elijah’s fear wasn’t dying at the hand of Jezebel, but he didn’t want to endure another battle. Let me tell you, I can relate to that. I know I have made it, I know I can over come. But I don’t want to fight another battle. And that’s where my fear comes from.
You see, I am not scared that I’m not going to make it. I know I will. I’m scared of another broken heart. I’m scared of another lost dream. I’m scared of another stolen hope. I’m scared that all I am going to do is fight, and fight, and fight. I’m scared I am not good enough for God’s promises.
But no more. I cannot forget all of my fears. But I can hold onto God’s promises. Because in Christ I have become good enough for those very promises. I have started to declare the truth’s over my life: “God says I am loved” “He says I am whole” “He says He will make this for good”. I am taking ownership. In Hebrews it says that hope anchors the soul, and I am keeping my hope anchored deep in my heart. My faith is the only tool that is the same yesterday, today, and forever more. Well, maybe not my faith, but the God that my faith is in.
Being scared is human, guys. But we can trump that lying voice. WE have the power. In Crashing the Chatterbox it says “And because the same Spirit who raised Jesus form the dead lives within you and me, we must refuse to bury our hope in a shallow grave of fear. We stand firm-even at the bottom- in our belief: God says He will. And since He already has… I know he Always will.”
Speak life over yourself, speak death over your fears. Know what God has to say about you, and don’t regard what the devil is whispering.
I am praying tonight for anyone who feels like I do. I’m praying against those fears. I’m praying a warrior rises up inside of you and you fight. Even if you’ve been fighting for a long time. I’m going to pray you keep putting on your Armor of God. Be brave. You don’t have to be perfect in 2 Corinthians 12:9 it says “My grace is sufficient for you, My power is made perfect in weakness” Let God be made perfect in you. You are not alone. You can do this. I believe in you.
PS I’m going to attach a link to Steven Furtick’s book if you are interested in reading it.